Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Wedding Toast


"I have never really done any sort of public speaking before, so color me nervous. When I was asked to be Jeffry's best man, I didn't even know this was part of my duties. If I knew, I may have declined. Where to begin?

"Jeff and I met when we were both in junior high school. You know how people segregate into their cliques? We were in the skateboard clique. I guess this isn't really important ... What I'm trying to say is, we have a long history, and this is why I feel I know Jeffry more than anyone else.

"Sorry, Sue. I know moms think they know their children best, but he is an adult now.

"Jeffry is the best man I have ever known. He is honest, courageous, and willing to take responsibility. He's smart - and not just book smart. He genuinely cares for other people, and longs to know who you really are. Some people don't get his humour, but I think he's really funny.

"I guess I'm supposed to tell an embarrassing story about him, but I want to feel like I'm above that. You know, because I'm a snob. But I will tell a story.

"About three years ago, Jeff and I were camping up in the mountains. We had hiked in six miles to our camp site. This was funny: I teased him because he cooked one of those ready-to-eat bags of pasta with a fork and spoon, twirling the noodles like a proper gentleman. But the next day I got stung by a bee on my foot - I'm allergic to bees - and my foot swelled up so much I couldn't get my boot on. Jeff packed up all of our gear, and helped me sort of hop all the way back to the car.

"He's a true friend.

"When Jeffry met Erin, he was immediately enamored. I, on the other hand, was jealous. I think most guys agree with me: girlfriends are bad for friendships. All of my time with Jeff disappeared; he was always too busy with Erin to be bothered with a schmuck like me.

"But I was happy for him. I think Erin has really helped form Jeff into an even better person.

"They didn't start dating right away though, in fact it was over a year before Jeff even admitted to Erin that he was in love with her.

"When I did get to spend some time with Jeff recently, he told me stories of the turmoil he put himself through. He told me of when she was leaving for summer vacation a couple years ago, he took her shopping. He explained to me that he followed her around the racks in the store, and he was just filled with emotion. When her back was to him, he would mouth the words, 'I love you.' I don't think she caught him doing that.

"Anyway ... I think I've rambled on long enough. I guess I'm supposed to just toast the couple and get back to my seat, and maybe hit on the maid of honor. That's what I learned from watching the movies anyway. She is cute, so I might ...

"So, here's to the happy couple: Jeffry, I'm proud of you. I'll miss you, but I'm so happy for you anyway. Erin, you have got the last great man. Don't take that for granted. I wish you both the best of luck."